Tough Love
by 00Quinn00
Summary: Skipper begins to develop new and strange feelings for Private which he doesn't understand. Will he confess to Private, or choose to hold his feelings in and hope for the best, as he did his whole life?
1. Chapter 1: Dreams

A/N: Hello to all who stumbled upon this fic, and those who've read my first fic, and were either sorely disappointed with the ending, but decided to forgive me!:) As I stated in my previous fic, I am trying to create a story similar to the Skipper/Private moments in said previous fic, but I'm also trying to get more in touch with the characters' emotions and actions, based on how they originally act in the TV series. So, please review, as I am looking forward to hearing feedback as always, and enjoy :)

WAIT: Disclaimer, I don't own PoM, Characters, blah blah okay storytime!

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><p><em>Skipper took Private in his arms, compelling him in a passionate kiss, which was replied by the little private moving his beak slowly up and down his neck, forcing a giggle from him as they slowly made their was to the bunks. Skipper had sat down, and he was about to get comfortable as Private lunged onto him, bringing on another kiss. Slowly everything faded to black and the last words Skipper heard were:<em>

_I love you._

Skipper shot up in his bunk as he awoke from his dream, trying to catch his wits as he realized his surroundings._ How could I have dreamed that? Again! Me..and Private? Doing those...things...to each other.. _Skipper had managed to calm his breathing as he glanced at the clock opposite his bunk, It read 5:33. Skipper sighed as he hopped down and paced nervously around his Head Quarters, remembering every single moment from the dream he had just awoken from as if he lived it.

This wasn't the first time he had noticed the dream. In fact, it had been reoccurring for almost a week now. He was too scared, or as he thought, paranoid, to tell anyone about it. They would be appalled. After all, it was all monster trucks, right? As the distraught penguin paced around and around, he had abruptly stopped at one side of the room. Ironically enough, it was right in front of Private's bunk.

Skipper had edged himself closer to the slumbering penguin, nearly towering over him as he found himself deep in thought. _What was it about the little guy that makes me dream this way? I can't see myself ever really doing anything at all with Private, yet as the seconds grow, I catch himself becoming more and more enthralled with him. _He quickly shook the thoughts away, as he had noticed the time had flew by, the clock now reading 5:56. "_Damn_" he said under his breath, realizing he was thinking about Private for 20 minutes. He had wished he had the time to figure everything out. But there were more important matters at hand, like training. Well, those matters were important at least to Skipper anyway.

"Rise and shine men, we've got work to do soon." The flat-headed penguin exclaimed, pouring himself a mug of coffee, waiting for a response from his team-mates. Nothing but a few tired moans. Skipper chuckled to himself as he said, "Alright, I guess we'll have to do this the hard way." as he pulled an air horn out from a trunk in the corner. "One last chance, men." He warned. "Just five more minutes sir." Kowalski said, a hint of grumpiness in his voice. Skipper sighed. "I warned you.." Skipper said as he went to the bunks and braced himself. 5 seconds later, the team had all awaken, nearly jumping out of their skin as the extremely loud noise invaded their slumber.

"Well, it's good to see you're all up," Skipper said astringently as he threw the air horn back into the trunk. "We have approximately 40 minutes until our morning training session, so do what you need to get ready." Soon after everyone had managed to slump down from their beds, Kowalski found himself playing a game of "Go Fish" with Rico, and Private was watching the television intently. Skipper was sitting next to Private, but not paying attention at all to the screen, or to the little penguin.

Usually after the dreams, Skipper would be able to forget all about it, thanks to all of the hard practicing he and the team did. But today, he just couldn't get it out of his mind. Without Kowalski to make the options for him, Skipper decided himself it was best to try to avoid Private today as much as possible. Though, right now, he found it to be increasingly hard, as the private tried to spark up a conversation. "Something on your mind, sir?" "No." Skipper had thought it to be a bit harsh, but he'd rather have as little interaction as possible. For some reason, he just felt weird. No, weird wasn't the right word. It was more like...nervous. Private was taken aback, expecting something a little more than 'No'. "Oh, well..eh.. alright. Would you like to watch the tele with me?" The small penguin said as he tapped the spot next to him. Skipper completely disregarded Privates existence as if he weren't even in the room. "I'm going topside to start training, you can join when you're ready, men" Skipper said as he quickly climbed the ladder and opened the fishbowl entrance to the zoo.

Private was at a loss of words. He'd never seen Skipper act this way before, especially around _him_. Did he do something to make Skipper angry? He'd thought back on the previous days and come up with nothing. In fact, he thought he was doing so well, Skipper should be treating him better! "Did Skippah seem a bit.. eh.. different today, K'wolski?" It took a bit for Kowalski to respond as he calculated his next move on the seemingly simple card game with Rico. "What do you mean, Private?" Kowalski must've not even noticed what Skipper had said. "Never mind, we should probbly get going to training though." He said solemnly as he got up from the chair and waddled towards the ladder.

As the rest of the team got topside, Skipper was vigorously practicing his hand-to-hand combat, obviously trying to forget anything that happened in the HQ. And in his mind. "Oh, good to see you joining, team." He said with a dignified smirk on his face. "Today, we will be practicing our hand-to-hand fighting and evading skills. _Good,_Skipper thought to himself,_Now I can show him how hard I've practiced!_ Alright Rico, you're with..." He took a look at Kowalski, which made Private smile, hoping Skipper would train with him. But the smile was instantly ripped off as Skipper finished. "You're with Private, and I'll be with Kowalski."

Private's heart literally dropped as he watched Skipper go ahead with his training, with what seemed to be his new training partner. He couldn't help but feel a spark of jealousy. Even after training was over, Skipper refused to sit next to him as they ate, scooting away whenever Private would move closer to him. He had it. He didn't know what was wrong with the penguin that was perfectly normal yesterday, but he was determined to find out. Skipper, on the other hand, was determined to get rid of him so he could be at peace _Why can't the little bugger understand?_ He decided to take drastic measures to have him leave.

"Alright men, I think we did an excellent job at training, so you can have the rest of the day off." He said, trying to sound as professional as he could. "Why don't the three of you go get a snow cone?" Rico's face lit up as he screamed, "Snoww Coowne!" as he ran off, Kowalski not too far behind. "I think I'll just stay here.. Sir." Skipper heard Private say. He could feel the anger and sadness in his voice. Skipper tried to walk off, holding back the wanting to talk to him, but Private held his shoulder' with his flipper. "What is up with you, Skippah? You've been avoiding me all day!"

"I have not!" Skipper replied, wishing he could just forget the dream, and the odd feeling he felt as Private touched him. It felt..good, but so different. Skipper almost immediately knocked the flipper off his shoulder. "Yes you are, don't deny it! You're even doing it right now!" Private then looked to the ground, frowning and feeling a small amount of tears swell up in his eyes. "Is..Is there something...Wrong with me?" Skipper couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to hurt the little guy's feelings, but he just wanted to figure it all out. "I've had enough of this, soldier. I'm going back inside an-" "No! Talk to me, Skippah!" Private yelled as he put a somewhat forceful had on Skipper's shoulder again.

Skipper was through this time. He turned around, yelled, "I'm done!", and with most of his strength, he backhanded Private. Skipper watched in shock and horror at what he'd done as Private hit the ground with a loud thud. When he looked up, tears swelled in his eyes, and a large red mark covered half of his face. There was a small trickle of blood running down his head "What the Hell is wrong with you, Skippah?" He cried as he ran into the HQ, tears now pouring from his face. "God-Dammit! Skipper yelled as he punched the concrete wall. What _was_ wrong with him?

_I can't believe I hit him..hard! What the Hell am I thinking? And this was all over some stupid dream!_ But Skipper felt there was a more deep meaning behind it. He balled his fists in anger, wishing he could process these emotions he was feeling. _Why should I? I was trained not to feel anything but leadership! Why do these new feelings pop up, and seem to intensify every time I see Private?_

After a few minutes, Skipper felt he had to go into the HQ. He Slowly climbed down into the lair, where he could already hear Private bawling into his pillow. Skipper felt so terrible. He hadn't meant to hit him so hard. Why did he hit him at all? He didn't have the time to think, as he turned the corner to Private. "Private..I'm s-" He began but was interrupted by Private.

"Get the Hell away from me!" Private screamed as he lobbed his pillow towards him. Skipper caught it in an instant, but was horrified as he looked closer at the pillow. The one side Private was leaning on was almost completely blood-soaked. Skipper wanted to kill himself for the way he hurt the younger penguin. He had also noticed that behind the anger and sadness in Private, he saw fear. He was cowering in the corner of his bunk as Skipper tried to move in closer. Each small step he took induced more and more fear into the little penguin, as he was now shaking uncontrollably. "I said stay away!" Skipper looked into Private's eyes, and was shocked at what he saw. He saw not only the fear, but the feeling that the commanding officer he was staring at was a completely different person. Skipper held back small tears himself as he realized how monstrous he was.

He had swallowed down his tears as he said to the frightened Private, "Please, Private. Let me talk to you." With that, Private had seemed to calm down a small bit, but Skipper felt something inside of him that he needed to let out, now. Skipper ran to Private and hugged him as hard as he could. He couldn't contain his tears anymore. Skipper, the one everyone praised for his bravery, was now crying into the shoulders of his Private.

"I'm so sorry, Private! I don't know what the Hell came over me. I feel like killing myself, I didn't want to hurt you, please believe me! I just.. just.." "Skipper.." Private began, now wiping the tears and blood from his face. "you're... you're crying" Skipper strangely felt 100 times better as he felt the little penguin's flippers hug him back. "Why? Why did you ignore me? What happened to you?"

Skipper wished he could answer that question.


	2. Chapter 2: In His Arms

A/N: Please R&R!

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><p>"Why? Why did you ignore me? What happened to you?"<p>

Skipper wished he could answer that question. He had no idea what was going on in his mind, the only thought in his mind was that this felt right. "I don't know, Private. I can't get this thought out of my head. It's like it won't go away, but Im not sure I want it to.

"What is it, Skippah?" Private asked. He had never seen his leader at such a loss. " I don't even know what to make of it, Private. I'm not even sure if I should tell you. I want to so bad, just get it over with. But I'm afraid it would jeopardize our friendship." Skipper could feel the tears coming back, but he managed to shake them away. Skipper had the thought in his head since the first day of the dream. He tried to push it away, but it kept returning, each time he felt more and more in love with the idea.

In love...with Private.

"Skippah. Nothing could mess up our friendship. I know that for a fact." "Private... I don't know how to say this... I-" Skipper choked out, right as Rico and Kowalski returned from their snow cone run. The taller, more intelligent penguin was the first to come to come down. "Hello, sir. Private." He said coming down, and instantly saw the blood on the little penguin's face and jumped. "Private! What happened to you?" He screamed, running to Private and Skipper, who had flown off of Private and to the other side of the bunk, quickly drying his tears at the sound of Kowalski's voice.

The Private, who had completely forgot about the cut at all, took a glance at Skipper. He had an extremely worried look on his face. "Err..I...um..fell.. and scraped my head, yeah." Private said, hoping Kowalski would buy his story.

Sure, the little penguin could've told Kowalski Skipper hit him right there. He still didn't trust Skippers story all that much, as he never showed emotions like this, but something about him just made the private lie. He'd always thought of Skipper as a great leader and good friend, but today he noticed how much of a train-wreck of his life could be without him in it. He felt so happy when Skipper ran to him and hugged him, it let him know everything was going to be okay. He had realized he needed Skipper in his life

Kowalski looked as if he knew Private was lying, but both Private and Skipper calmed down as he said,"Alright...well let's get you patched up then, Private." as he took Private's flipper and brought him to his lab where they keep all of the first aid items.

Skipper let out a sigh of relief as Rico came down the ladder. "How was your snow cone, soldier?" Rico shot out a thumbs up of satisfaction as Skipper chuckled.

*Later That Night*

Skipper sat next to Private contently, watching some TV show about ninjas, he couldn't remember the name. His mind was still completely fuzzy. _I almost told him I loved him! What was I thinking! I can't, There's too much of a risk. I just..can't._ He felt the already asleep Private nuzzle up against him, and he blushed uncontrollably. He was glad Kowalski and Rico were in the lab, probably creating some other mechanism of chaos. His happiness quickly fell as they both came through the door. "Oh, hello skipper. You two enjoying the night?" Kowalski said with a quick laugh. Skipper furrowed his brow in irritation. "Can it, Kowalski. I didn't know he'd just pass out on me!" Kowalski let out another chuckle as he replied, "Alright, well Rico and I are gonna call it a night. Don't stay up too late" After the two had gone to sleep, Skipper was left alone with his thoughts. He was so confused. He never let his feelings out, why did he tonight? He looked at Private, slowly running his finger across the strip of gauze on his face. Private let out a smile as he slowly shifted around, bobbing his head up.

"Hello, Skippah." He said with a yawn. "What time is it?" "It's late, we should probably head to bed soon" Skipper replied as a took a glance at the clock.

"Can we...talk for a second?" Skipper heard Private ask as he turned back. "Sure, soldier. What about?" Skipper answered as a smile appeared on his lips, although he knew what this was most likely about."Well..You never really told me what you were going to say before the others walked in." Skipper stuttered as his answer came out, shaky. "Well...uh, I.. um wanted to say...that-" Skippers' voice was cut off by Private's flipper. "You don't have to tell me yet, Skippah. I know it's hard for you to say these kind of things" He said as he wrapped his arms around Skipper. Skipper blushed, but tightly wrapped his arms around him. As much as Skipper hated it, Private pulled away.

After a few minutes of silence, Private spoke up. "Can I...um..sleep with you tonight?" He asked, his face turning red. Skipper smiled, pulling Private near him with his flipper. "Sure, Private" He said, smiling more as Private put his flipper around Skipper's back, nuzzling up next to him again. "Goodnight, Skipper" He said lazily, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, my Private." Skipper whispered as he drifted off to sleep...


	3. Chapter 3: Training

A/N: Sorry if this one is not as good as the others, I've been somewhat having a writer's block. So, if you would like, you can put in your suggestions for the next chapters in the reviews. It would be much appreciated!

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><p>Skipper awoke, earlier than the other penguins as usual, in the silence and darkness of his HQ. He tried to shift his position, as he guessed he was sitting there for hours, not moving, until he felt something shuffle near him. He tensed up as he shot a glance to his right, trying to scope out any possible threat that entered the HQ, but he relaxed as he remembered he had fell asleep with Private in his arms.<p>

_'How do I tell him? How can I tell one of my team-mates, practically my brother, that I think I love him?'_ Skipper was still so caught up in his thoughts, but he realized one thing. Private was not his brother. No, he was something more. He was someone who gave Skipper a reason to wake up in the morning. Someone to make Skipper smile and forget about the bad things, even in the most difficult of situations. He smiled as his thoughts disappeared from view, watching the little penguin bury his head deeper into Skipper's chest in the darkness. Skipper felt his own eyes grow heavy as he leaned in closer to Private, his beak gently touching the little penguin's head. "Goodnight." He whispered, drifting off to sleep, knowing everything would be okay as he saw Private let out a small smile.

Once the morning arrived, Kowalski and Rico had left their bunks, while Skipper and Private had stood up from the couch they slept in. Skipper cracked his back has he yawned heavily. He looked at Private with a smile and said jokingly,

"Not the best idea to fall asleep on a couch. Is it, soldier?" Private giggled as he turned on the television, now staring intently at it. After the team had gotten themselves situated for the morning, they had gone topside. Skipper had still felt terrible for what he did yesterday, so when the team had lined up to be told what their training exercise was, he had said,

"Alright, men. Today we will be working on our melee combat," He said, tossing a bamboo sword to each of the men. Private's face had lit up as Skipper continued, "Kowalski, train with Rico. Private... you're with me."

"Oh, um...Skippah, I'd thought you didn't want to train with me." Private said, blushing a little as he traced a circle on the ground with his foot. He stopped and looked up as he felt Skipper's flipper (Ha, that rhymed:D) on his shoulder.

"Private. I want you to forget everything that happened yesterday. I don't know what came over me, and... I'm sorry. I'll do anything to make it up to you." Private just stared at him, seeming to be deep in thought about something.

"Private...?" The little penguin snapped out of his trance, and looked up to Skipper. He noticed the despair on Skipper's face.

"You.. you really care about me that much?" Private asked in a low voice. It was now Skipper's turn to be lost in a trance of thought, trying to find the right words. _'Should I just come out and say it? No, the others are here. What would they say? What would Private say?' _The commanding officer looked back down to Private and smiled.

"Of course I do, Private. You mean everything to me. If I had lost you, I just.. I don't know what I'd do." Private lit up at Skipper's response and hugged him as hard as he could.

"Oh, thank you Skippah! I'm sorry for hugging you but what you said it...it means so much to me!"

Skipper's face turned slightly red at the hug out in the open. He took a glance toward Kowalski and Rico, who were too busy training to notice the moment between the two. He could suddenly feel his flippers moving, as if by themselves. Around Private. After what felt like a lifetime, the two pulled away. Skipper felt another smile form as Private said happily,

"Alright, then. Let's get training!"

After the training session, the four had put on the "cute and cuddly" act as the zoo opened and people rushed in to see the animals. Skipper had been doing exceptionally well, as most of the zoo-goers' attention was on him. After a while, he had noticed something was off. It didn't seem like anyone was even giving Private a glance, even though he was usually the cutest and most cuddly. He looked around for the little penguin, not finding him anywhere. Confused, but still waving and dancing around, Skipper had turned to Kowalski.

"Kowalski: Do you have Private's location?" Kowalski looked around the entire habitat, but turned back to Skipper and said,

"Negative, sir. Perhaps he went into the headquarters?" Skipper slapped himself for not noticing earlier and grabbed some of the fish as he slid back into the HQ, unnoticed by the zoo-goers.

"Rico, do you notice something..different..about Skipper?" Kowalski asked, half knowing he might not get an audible answer.

"Iunnow" Rico managed to growl out. "Why?" Kowalski was surprised Rico hadn't noticed, but replied,

"It seems he has grown more attached to Private, though I am not sure why." Kowalski was pondering the ideas of why Skipper was spending more time with Private, when he remembered last night.

"Could... Could it be that something more happened last night that we don't know about?" He asked, half to Rico, half to himself. He didn't wait for Rico to reply as he quickly pulled out his notebook and began to write.

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><p>Again, sorry if this one seems a bit lacking what I usually write, but I've still got a few ideas and I promise the next chapter will be good!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: Falling Apart :

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for the great reviews and input for this chapter. So, yeah.. thanks!:D Please R&R and feel free to put in your own suggestions, just put it in a review or PM me! Enjoy:)

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><p><span>Skipper's POV:<span>

Skipper entered the HQ, a smile on his face and two fish in his hand. He was hoping to share a meal with the little penguin, but his hopes were suddenly flowing away as Private was nowhere in sight.

-"Private?" Skipper asked, waiting in anticipation for a response, but none came. He quickly waddled over the Kowalski's lab, searching every corner and crevice for any sight of Private, but he came up dry.

_Where could he have gone?_ The confused Skipper wondered. He climbed up the ladder and went topside. He put his flipper over his head as he scanned the zoo for any sign as to where the little guy could be, but again, there was nothing. His hopes for a nice meal with Private were replaced with worry and fear. He jumped back into the HQ, pacing back and forth.

-"Okay, we all went topside for training..." Skipper said to himself, feeling sweat run down his face.

-"...Then, we all waited for the civilians to arrive with our breakfast. We...all were there right?" He tried to remember as best he could, but the last time he saw Private was when he was done training with him.

Skipper slapped himself again for not noticing earlier.

-"Oh, God. Private, where are you?" The distraught penguin said to himself, the fear growing inside of him. He took a seat on the couch as he tried to keep his mind together. "Maybe he just went out for a snow cone, or just exploring, or something." He choked out, trying to keep himself calm. It wasn't working. He thought about today, and how well training was for the two. Private even managed to knock Skipper off his feet a couple of times. But then he remembered Private looked a little down after. He had also noticed every time the two would meet eyes, Private would look down, a sad expression on his face.

He started to pace again as Kowalski and Rico dropped down to the lair.

-"Hello, sir," Kowalski said, appearing to be satisfied with his meal. Rico just burped in agreement.

-"Did you find Private?"

-"Negative, Kowalski..." Skipper replied forlornly.

-"Oh, well..Where do you think he could've gone, sir?" Kowalski asked, figuring Skipper would most likely know as the two have been spending a lot of time together lately.

-"I don't know, Kowalski. I just...don't know" Skipper said, his head slowly drooping down. He noticed Kowalski had begun to write down something on his notebook. Skipper had just about enough of that stupid notebook. He waddled over the the intelligent penguin and slapped the notebook and crayon out of his hands.

-"Dammit, Kowalski! This is no time for notes!" Skipper screamed, now noticing the sudden anger and fear emitting from his voice. Kowalski was stunned for a moment, but pulled himself together shortly after.

-"Don't you think you're over-reacting just a bit, sir? I mean, he hasn't even been gone that long."

The commanding officer now began to look a bit taken aback. But he slowly nodded after a minute of silence.

-"Right, I...I guess you're right, Kowalski." Skipper said, his flipper now nervously scratching the back of his head.

-"But, nonetheless, he should've confronted one of us first. So, I have a task for you two." He said, trying his best to keep his calm.

-"You two are to search the perimeter around the zoo and look for Private." Kowalski nodded in agreement, but looked back at Skipper as a thought crossed his mind.

-"But, sir. What if Private isn't _in_ the zoo, hypothetically speaking, of course." Skipper didn't want to hear it, but it was a possibility. _Why would Private leave the zoo, without even one of us accompanying him, or at least knowing? _

-"Well, Kowalski, if Private isn't in the perimeter of the zoo, you two are to go looking for him, I don't know, out of the zoo?" He could feel the paranoia and anger rising him up again, and was glad that Kowalski's only response was a, "Yes, Sir" and a quick climb back topside, Rico following behind. Skipper slouched down on a chair as he said to himself,

-"Where are you, Private?" His eyes began to slowly drift across the room, when he noticed a small fragment of a paper sticking out of the pillow on the bottom bunk.

Private's bunk.

He ran over to it, hoping it was a clue to Private's whereabouts. He slowly took out the paper and noticed it said, "To:Skipper" drawn out in crayon. It was definitely Private's handwriting, as his was the most sophisticated looking. He began to read it to himself:

_Dear Skipper,_

_ It is with great sorrow, but little regret that I need to inform you that I am leaving the team. Leaving Kowalski, and Rico. But most importantly...leaving you. You have always been a great role model for me, I thank you deeply for that. You have been there for me always, no matter what. Not just as a team-mate, but a friend. A great friend. I have always looked up to you, hoping that one day, I myself could be just like you. A future you, so to speak. But this is why I must leave. There are these thoughts...inside of my mind. Inside of my heart. I don't know what to make of them, but all of them, every single one, involves you. I have grown more attached to you, and every single day I have a burning passion to tell you something I have wanted to for a while. But knowing how much you love the team and would want nothing more to keep it intact and well, I assume you would not feel the same way. You might have even kicked me out of the team, something I would not be angry at you for. This is why I need to go. I cannot contain these feelings, and I'm worried that this could grow to a more intense level. So, I must try to forget. Forget everything I once knew, and try to start a new life, somewhere else. I would like to tell you in person, but it's too difficult. If you had not figured it out yet, which I almost certainly know you have or will by reading this, I think it's best not to say my true feelings. It would just hurt too much, despite the pain and sadness I am feeling writing this now. I am so sorry, and I hope you will forgive me. Even if I move on, You will always be in my thoughts, Skipper..._

_Sincerely,_

_Private_

Skipper read the note over and over again, trying to make sense of everything.

-"No..." He whispered, the tears swelling in his eyes. He tried not to let them out, but soon began to burst into tears.

-"No, Private! No!" He screamed, throwing the note as hard as he could.

-"I was too late! I could have told you! Private, oh, God no..." He cried, burying his face in his flippers.

-"Just give me another chance, Private!" he yelled, hoping to God that somehow, Private would hear, and immediately come back and throw himself into Skipper's arms.

But nothing happened. Nothing came. Just a lonely Skipper, Weeping in the bunk of his lover, that he was too stupid to tell him his true feelings to before it was too late..

-"No, no. no... Private! Come back!" He cried at the top of his lungs, another wave of tears flowing down, second after second, more coming down.

Seconds turned to minutes, which turned to hours. Not one member of the team had come back yet, meaning the little Private was out of the zoo. Out of Kowalski's and Rico's grasp. Out of Skipper's life.

Forever.

Skipper lay down in Private's bunk, letting the tears come out now without any attempt to hold back. Skipper's life was over, all because he was too caught up in his stupid paranoia and thoughts of what the team would think. Now Private was gone.

Leaving Skipper to lie and weep himself to sleep in the empty, lonely night...

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><p>I have to be honest, I cried a little while writing Private's note :`( Maybe it was the story, maybe it was because while writing it, I was listening to "The Sensitive" By Kromabis. It's a good song, but so sad! I suggest you listen to it while you read the note part to the end if you want to shed a tear or two :)<p>

Next chapter will be Private's POV, and maybe the next one will be Kowalski's(?) keep on reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5: P's Thoughts, S's Actions

**Private's Part:**

Private silently wept in the confines of the Head Quarters. Thankfully, he had managed to sneak out unnoticed after training, making Private feel a bit disappointed that the others don't look after him as much as he thought. But that was the least of his worries. He had another thought that jumbled in his mind. Something he wanted to admit for so long but knew he couldn't.

He had fell in love with Skipper.

At first, he didn't know what to do, so he tried to ignore it as best he could. He felt slightly proud of himself as the little penguin, who usually was eager to share all of his thoughts and feelings, had successfully hidden his for Skipper. After all, he thought, he was at the risk for being kicked off of the team. He was almost positive there was some regulation against it for their occupation, if Skipper had even felt the same way for Private at all. His chest hurt so much the day that Skipper had hit him. It wasn't because he had been crying for so long, or from fear, it was because his heart was nearly destroyed._ How could he have done that?_ He thought to himself, _I know it wasn't right to disobey his orders, but for Skipper to hit me that hard?_ Even after Skipper had apologized, the little penguin felt horrible.

_I'm not fit for this team. I disobey orders, I cant stop crying, and... I love Skipper!_ Private couldn't handle it anymore. He knew if he had stayed any longer, he was going to tell someone his feelings for Skipper. He pondered who he might tell if he could, and only one person came to mind. He wasn't ready or willing to tell anyone else, he was sure of it. But the more and more he thought of finally coming out and telling him made his stomach turn and him clench his heart. He could already see what was going to happen:

"What are you thinking, soldier?" He could imagine Skipper yelling.

"You know what could happen if anyone found out of your 'feelings'? We'd be instantly booted out of here and to who knows where!" Private already thought of what would happen next. He would surely get kicked off of the team, left for dead in some alley. Another stream of tears fell down as he made the decision of what to finally do.

"Its...It's for the best..." He whispered as he grabbed a crayon and paper and began to write...

**Skipper's Part:**

Skipper had awoke in his bunk, unsure of what time it was. He jumped down and took another glance at the empty bunk that Private would be sleeping in. But he was not going to come back. He would never sleep in that bunk again. Skipper could feel the tears coming, but fought them back. He slowly waddled over to the former-soldier's bunk and felt his flipper over it, imagining how life would be without him in his life. Nothing would ever be the same. Private wouldn't be there to give the others happiness in their times of sorrow. He wouldn't ever be there to chip in a good idea when the penguins were bored, nor would he be there to help Rico let off some steam or to help Kowalski with his inventions. But most of all, Skipper took in the realization that Private wouldn't be there when he needed him most. He had loved Private more than anyone else in the world, and Private didn't even give him the chance to tell him.

He could instantly feel the anger rising, but he pushed it away as best he could. After all, it wasn't Private's fault. Skipper slowly turned around and fell silently on the bunk. Skipper thought back at all the past times he was with Private, and he began to notice all of the little things he did to try to get Skipper to respect him more, like him more even. But he kept pushing him away The day he hit Private must have just set him off, and now he's gone. Skipper shot up, jumping off of Private's bed and waddling towards the ladder.

_No,_ he thought._ I can't let the love of my life just disappear, not now. Not ever. I need to find him_. He began to climb up the ladder, now looking at his team-mates, who were sleeping away. He was hoping to be able to get Private back and get home before his team was supposed to wake up. He glanced up at the clock before making his way topside.

"5 hours," He said to himself. "5 hours to get my Private back." He jumped out of his habitat and slid towards the exit gates, hoping it wasn't already too late...

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><p>Hope you like it so far! R&amp;R!:D<p> 


	6. Chapter 6: Journey to Grand Central

**Private:**

The little penguin looked at the surprisingly silent city before him. Every alley, street, and building felt completely new to him. Usually when he was out on the city, he was with at least one of the others, so he didn't need to worry about getting lost. But now, Private was regretting not memorizing any points of the city, or at least stealing a map. He was completely lost, unable to find anything, even his way back. After the first hour and a half of exploring and trying to find his destination, the Grand Central Station, the little penguin had given up and tried to get back to the zoo. But he couldn't remember which way he went to get to where he was now. He was so confused, wishing he hadn't took the advantage of being alone to think about Skipper.

That was all that was on his mind, from writing the letter up until this point. He just couldn't find it in himself to think of something else. But that was just a lost cause, Private felt the entire way through. He knew what was best, he had to go the Grand Central Station and get as far away from here as possible. It was the only way to forget about it, forget about Skipper. Skipper...

"No, Dammit!" The little penguin cursed to himself, surprised that he swore, even though he was alone. He managed to calm down a but before he sadly said, "I need to forget..." But the more and more Private thought about it, the more he wanted to go home. But where was home? The little penguin looked around him, and found he had been so deep in his thoughts that he didn't realize he had been wandering around the town for about twenty minutes. He found himself stopping at a dark alley.

"How did I..." He started but abruptly stopped as he heard a dark laughter behind him, slowly moving in closer.

"Hmmm.. I never had penguin before. I wonder what they taste like..." Private quickly turned around, seeing a group of strong, but hungry looking dogs.

"Wh..What?" Private managed to choke out before the dog who had spoken, most likely the leader Private thought, jumped onto him and dug his claws into his body. Private let out a scream of pain as the other dogs snickered evilly and moved in closer.

"Well, ya see here," The dog who had Private pinned began, "Me and my buddies here haven't had a bite to eat in days. So, when we saw you walkin' round, we thought, 'Hey, some dirty penguin from the zoo's better than nothin'." Private gasped and let out another scream of pain as the leader dog dug his claws in deeper and scraped them down.

Private wiggled in pain and in hope that he could escape, but the more he moved, the more the claws edged deeper into his skin. He looked down at his body. He could see the blood seep down in little streaks from from the claw marks, leaving his feathers stained with his own blood. Private didn't know what to do, he wished Skipper was somewhere in the distance where he could hear the horrible dogs and what they were doing.

"Skipper..." Private tried to scream, but failed as he only heard a dull voice come from himself. He could hear the other dogs start to laugh again as the leader began to speak.

"Aww, what's that? You want yer little buddy to come and save you?" The other dogs were now practically on top of Private, all staring down at the bloody and helpless penguin. Private could now feel the leader's breath as he leaned in closer.

"Well, that's just too bad, penguin. He's not coming, and you're all alone." Private felt the words crash down on him as he lay there, wishing it wasn't true.

_You're all alone. _Private now knew the horrible realization that the one who was going to kill him had told him. He _was_ all alone, no one was going to come save him. He was going to die in this alley, hopelessly alone. He could feel the tears form in his eyes and he let them run down. There was no point in holding them in. He was already dead. The leader saw the tears and spoke again.

"Oh, what's this? You're crying? Well, don't worry little penguin. I'm gonna make this quick." He said with a devious smirk on his face.

"At least when your Skipper finds you. There won't be much to see." He said, raising his paw up. Private could feel his adrenaline pulsing through his body at the thought of Skipper seeing him dead.

"No!" Private screamed as he somehow managed to grab the incoming paw and push the dog off of him. He jumped onto the shocked dog and bombard him with an array of punches. The other dogs threw him off and against the wall.

His vision was blurred but he saw the leader run towards him.

"You son of a-" He screamed as he bit into the penguin. Private screamed and writhed in pain, but he wasn't going to give up. He kicked the leader in the stomach and wriggled free of the others' grasps. He started to run, he didn't know where but he knew he had to get out of there as fast as possible. He didn't stand any chance between all of them, especially in the condition he was in. Once he thought he was safe from the dogs, he dropped down to the ground and examined his wounds. The claw marks weren't as serious as he thought, but he gasped as he saw the bite mark on his side. It was nearly ripped apart and was pouring out with blood.

Private's adrenaline seemed to lower itself as he rested, but now he began to feel the immense pain from his fight. He tried as best as could to be silent, worrying that the dogs would be back soon, but he couldn't handle it. He screamed as loud as he could and fell to the hard cement. He groaned in pain as he dragged himself to a nearby trash-bin, large amounts of blood trailing him, and tipped it over. He sifted through the garbage and managed to find a clean enough looking shirt and ripped off a large enough piece to form a make-shift bandage. The little penguin wrapped it tightly around the wound and screamed again as he tightened the knot in hopes to stop the bleeding. It worked.

The little penguin started to notice his vision fading again as he stood up. He smacked himself to regain what little consciousness he had before gasping at the sight before him.

Grand Central Station.

He had made it. He wasn't sure if he should be happy and relieved, or worried and sad. He began to stumble over to the platform. This was it. This was where he needed to be. He started to run over to the train when he heard a voice. It was so familiar, one that gave him so much comfort and seemed to make him forget about the pain, inside and out.

It was Skipper's voice.

The little penguin turned his head and saw the leader penguin staring at him, happiness that he found him, but fear of the wounds Private had in his eyes.

"S..Skippah?" He asked, hoping it wasn't some hallucination from his delusional state. But that was all he could manage to say before a large paw swiped across his face and brought him to the ground. He saw the dog from before glaring at him furiously. The last thing he heard was Skipper's voice, Screaming "No!", before his vision went completely black and every thought he had faded away into oblivion...


	7. Chapter 7: Destined Meeting

**Skippers Part:**

Skipper was going through every alley, street, boulevard, pretty much any place a penguin could be if it left the zoo, but found nothing. _What am I doing here?_ He thought to himself, disappointed but not surprised that this was going to prove extremely difficult._ I have no clue where Private could be, he didn't leave any clues to where he is, I don't even know if I should be looking for him. _Skipper quickly shook the thoughts out of his mind. He wouldn't let Private wander alone in this city, especially at night. But where could he be?

Skipper didn't want to think about it, but the more he searched, the more he could feel the horrible realization crawl back into his head. It could be too late. Private could be long gone by now, off in some other city, some other state even. But Skipper knew that even if that was true, he would keep looking until he found the little penguin,no matter what. He couldn't lose him, not now. Skipper suddenly stopped in his tracks, and something made Skipper know that Private was not too far away. It was almost as if he could hear his voice in the distance.

"Private..?" Skipper asked, half expecting for his little penguin to reply. But nothing came. The leader penguin slumped down, looking dead at his feet. But another reassuring sound brought him back up. But not with hopes or happiness, but immense fear.

He heard a distant scream that sounded painfully familiar.

"Private!" Skipper yelled as he started to run towards the noise. He didn't know how far he ran or for how long, but he suddenly found himself at Grand Central Station.

"Of course!" Skipper said as he smacked himself for not knowing where the little penguin would go in the first place. But where was Private, he looked around, but saw nothing but a trash can that was tipped over and had looked like it had been sifted through. He waddled closer to it, gasping at what he saw. There was a small trail of blood going towards the platform. He knelt down to it, hoping it wasn't Private's. He slowly got up and followed the small trail of blood to the platform and looked up when it had seemed to stop. His face lit up with so much happiness when he saw who he had been looking for for so long.

Private.

Skipper still couldn't believe it. He had actually found Private! His happiness turned to fear and worry when he noticed the cloth around his waist, nearly soaked with blood. It reminded him of the day he hit Private, and he cringed at the horrible memory. But that was the past. Now, he had to get Private back, fix him up,and finally tell him his true feelings.

"Private!" He yelled out, slowly waddling to the little penguin.

"S..Skippah?" He heard him say before a dark figure flashed across his vision. The next thing he knew, Private was on the ground, a claw mark across his face and a large dog on top of him.

"No!" Skipper screamed, still in a state of shock. He quickly snapped out of it and bolted to the dog, throwing it off of Private. Skipper bent down and looked at the little penguin, unsure if he was breathing or not.

"P—Private?" He asked. No response. Skipper panicked and started shaking Private, hoping to bring him back to consciousness...or life.

"Private, no! You can't do this to me, not now! Don't die on me, damn it!" Skipper yelled, shaking the private more and more. The tears started to flow as he slowly gave up more and more hope. He could hear the dog get back up as he started to laugh.

"Looks like he didn't make it. I guess you were to late so save him, hehe.." Skipper got up and stared menacingly at the dog, wiping away his tears. His voice shook in anger and dismay.

"You... You did this!" He screamed, stepping forward.

"Well, I won't take all the credit," The dog began, slowly moving back.

"I had a little help from my friends." Skipper took a few more steps forward.

"Well, it looks like your 'friends' aren't here. It's just you and me. And you're gonna pay for what you did!" Skipper yelled in response, jumping towards the dog and kicking it in the face with tremendous force.

The dog flew back, landing on a trash can. He didn't have enough time to react as Skipper leaped onto him and punched him as hard as he could. He wouldn't stop, not after what he did. The dog tried to squirm away, but every effort was blocked by more punches. Skipper could see the blood start to form out as he continued bombarding the dog with his fists, but he didn't stop, screaming in between punches,

"Don't. You. EVER. Hurt. My. Private. EVER AGAIN!" Skipper wasn't sure how much time had passed, but soon after the penguin had stopped, he felt his energy start to drain as he panted with anger and fatigue. He stared at the bloodied dog, now cowering in the corner of a building.

"Now get the hell out of here before I make you wish I never stopped punching you!" he yelled as the dog quickly limped out of the station, whimpering the whole way. Skipper turned back to the little private, laying on the floor with blood running down his face and onto the floor. Skipper ran to the penguin as he began to feel himself silently cry, holding up Private in his arms.

"Oh, God. Private..." He began before he started to hear a nearly silent breathing coming from Private.

"Private! you're alive?" Skipper gasped, tears running down his cheeks and dropping on the chest of the little penguin.

"S-Skippah... You...You came back for me?" Private whispered. Skipper couldn't bear to see Private in so much pain as he carefully hugged the bleeding penguin.

"Of course I did, Private. You're part of the team. And...I- I love you, Private.."

He could sense Private let out a weak smile as he moved back.

"You..you really do, Skippah?" He asked, as if it were too good to be true. Skipper quietly laughed as he stared into the eyes of the little penguin before him.

"Private. I love you more than anything else in the world. And I didn't realize it until I thought it was too late.." Skipper could feel the tears coming again just at the thought of the love of his life dying before him. He couldn't take it anymore as he gazed into the eyes of the little penguin in his arms. He began to lean in and he could see Private lean in as well. Private whispered, "I love You.." before Skipper took him in and locked his beak with his. The kiss was the most passionate as Skipper could imagine and it lasted for what seemed like hours before he noticed Private wince in pain.

"We gotta get you home, Private." Skipper said, a more serious, but tender, tone in his voice.

"I'd..I'd like that Skippah.." Private managed to say before losing what little consciousness he had, feeling Skipper lift him up as he carried Private as fast as he could back to the zoo, where they were both destined to be for the rest of the night, together..


	8. Chapter 8: Even Perfect

Skipper awoke in Private's bunk, with the little penguin is his arms. He slowly moved his head up and read the clock. 6:32. "_Damn, well I guess the team needs some time off.." _Skipper whispered to himself, now intently staring at the little penguin before him. He smiled as Private quietly shifted in his bunk and carelessly wrapped his flipper around Skipper's body. As much as Skipper hated to, he slowly pulled away and slipped out of the bunk, unnoticed. The leader waddled groggily over to his coffee machine and turned it on. The loud noise of the coffee brewing made Skipper jump a bit, knowing that the noise most likely woke one of his men up, but he regained his aloofness as the penguin he had hoped for woke up and sat upright in his bunk.

"Mornin', Skippah!" The little penguin exclaimed, a large grin across his face. Skipper returned the grin as he waddled back to the bunk and sat beside Private.

"Mornin', soldier." He quietly replied, putting his flipper over Private. The little penguin shifted uncomfortably in his bunk and his face began to grow red. Skipper, trying his best not to chuckle, broke the tension as he got up once again and went back to the coffee machine, pouring himself a mug. He turned around and sat at the table. Private, who had gotten out of the bunk almost as instantly as Skipper, was sitting beside him.

After a couple minutes of silence, Private chipped in,

"Eh..Skippah?" He asked in a way that stated he wasn't sure how to ask the leader something.

"Yes, soldier?" Skipper replied.

"Well, you see Skippah..I was kind of hoping you would tell me what happened last night.." Private said slowly, blushing. Skipper couldn't contain it anymore, he chuckled at Private's cute innocence as he asked,

"What do you mean?" Private shifted uncomfortably again, still looking not sure on how to ask Skipper.

"Well, I don't remember much from last night, and I was kinda hopin' you could fill me in?" Skipper's smile faded as he heard the little penguin.

"You don't remember...anything from last night?" He asked nervously. Has Private not remembered their kiss?_ Great_, Skipper thought to himself._ The most romantic moment of my life, and the one I shared it with doesn't even remember.._

He stopped his thoughts as the little penguin finally answered.

"No, not really. Sorry, Skippah..I guess I was just a bit delirious, or something." He said with a nervous giggle, his flipper rubbing the back of his head and his eyes on the floor. Skipper wasn't really sure how to describe what had happened. The only word that came into his mind was Wonderful.

"Well, after I saved you, we-uh... well, we." Skipper said, cursing himself for beginning to speak without knowing what to say. He instantly relaxed as he felt Private's flippers embrace him in a long hug. Skipper returned the hug, blushing a little.

"I never did get to thank you for saving me..." He whispered. The little penguin realized what he said and quickly pulled away, his face as red as possible.

"..I think" He added, trying to cease the embarrassment he felt. Both were now laughing like old friends. A few more minutes passed before Private spoke up again.

"So, what happened after?" Skipper was staring into the eyes of his true love, now knowing exactly what to say. He started to speak, well, more like a whisper, as he saw Private ever-so-slowly lean in, but Skipper couldn't tell if it was from enthusiasm or if Private was trying to make a move.

"I had you in my arms, trying to stop the bleeding. I thought you were dead, but when I heard your voice, I was so happy.." He could now feel himself leaning in. The two were now mere centimeters from each others' faces.

"We stared into each others' eyes, and I said..." Skipper had stopped, but that was all he needed to say. He slowly pressed his beak to Private's, pulling him in closer with his flippers. Skipper felt so relieved. He had worried that the kiss from last night was just due to Private's delusional state. But now, all of his doubts were falling away. It was just him and Private.

"I love you.." Skipper whispered once the kiss was through. The little penguin was now blushing more than ever, but he didn't seem to mind, as they lovingly held each other in their flippers. Their tight embrace quickly ended as they both notice Rico rise from his bunk. The crazed penguin jumped down and just noticed the little penguin sitting there. Rico was over-joyed at the sight of Private returning.

"Priatte!" He squawked loudly, running over to the little penguin and hugging him as tight as he could, but noticeably trying not to hurt him.

"Alright, soldier. Stand down." Skipper commanded with a forced chuckle, trying not to show the jealousy that boiled inside him.

"It's good to see you too, Rico!" Private said with a large smile once Rico had stopped. He quickly looked over to Skipper, who was staring at Rico. He could instantly see the jealousy in his face, and when Rico went to the fridge to get some fish, Private shot Skipper an apologetic glance and a shrug, smirking at the thought that Skipper was jealous...over him!

Skipper now chuckled again, putting his flipper over Private's shoulder.

"It's alright." He said, knowing his sudden jealousy was just part of his paranoia. But there was something else about what he had said.

Something that made Private know that everything in their world, from their simple life, to their hidden love, was going to be alright, perfect even...

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><p>As much as it pains me, I have to say that this is the end of this story!:( But don't worry, I'll make more! I've already got an idea for one, but If you'd like, you can give me suggestions for a new story in your reviews or in a PM! I hope you continue to read my stories, enjoy them, and review!:D<p> 


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